I was raised in a Methodist church. I haven’t forgotten who brung me to the dance, but I also haven’t forgotten the laugh riot that is the UMC. Ready… Get set…
You might be a Methodist if… (Go!)
- The building fund is more important than the tithe.
- You believe Jesus saves people from their sins— you just aren’t sure everyone has sin and needs saving.
- You believe women can and should be ordained— but you don’t want to ordain them.
- No one in the congregation actually knows what the denomination as a whole believes.
- Your church has to have a traditional and contemporary service, otherwise World War III will break out over the music used during worship.
- You have been in the same church all your life but have gone through 27 new pastors.
- You have never been a Catholic, yet carry around the same amount of guilt.
- A committee meeting is required to determine whether or not to repair a broken window in the sanctuary.
- You can somehow make every situation in life relate to grace in some way.
- You’ve ever wondered why “Blessed Assurance” is in your hymnal.
- The majority of your congregation consists of Baptists who are only Methodists because they don’t want to be called Baptists.
- You actually know the pledge to the Christian flag and the pledge to the Bible.
- You think a new slogan covers a multitude of sins.
- Your church has ever canceled Sunday evening services due to the Super Bowl.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
lol…
I was raised R.C. but was always curious what others believed in ..
Every time I asked a Methodist peer “what do Methodists believe in?” I got the same answer… “umm. I dunno.”
I figured it was a gen x thing.
thanks for the list, my Methodist wife found it funny.
pc
Now I got the posts! Haha. =D
There are some parts that are very similar to some Catholic churches.
Oh, and your specifications really made me admire the UMCs…This one is strike two. The first was my social science teacher from old school. Catholics are mostly hypos too.
And I like the system better.
As a life long United Methodist, I think you forgot
“You believe in the power of prayer, but you refuse to pray out loud.”
It baffles me how many in the UMC that applies to!
Sean,
That is so true! To this day, I still have a hard time praying out loud and I think it’s because it just wasn’t practiced or encouraged much in the Methodist church I grew up in. Along those same lines, in my travels to different churches, I’ve noticed that Methodists are much more likely to have “Unspoken” prayer requests during prayer time.