Uncle Luther's Porch

Let’s take a brief and scary look at the worldview espoused by many of our southern “brethren” in the Lord…

• “Damn scientists teachin’ all that evolution crap. They don’t know nothin’.”
• “Damn journalists. They’re just all puppets of the liberal media. They’re just ignorant.”
• “Damn doctors. Who needs their voodoo medicine. God made natural herbs and treatments. We don’t need medication. We have prayer and if you have enough faith, you’ll be healed miraculously.”
• “Damn college professors. They don’t know nothin’ despite all their purty little degrees they got on that there wall.”
• “Damn politicians. They wouldn’t know how to run a government if King David himself came and taught ‘em how to. All they want to do is raise our taxes, steal our guns and keep us from buyin’ Jordan Rubin’s latest miracle remedy. What they need to focus on is Sunday alcohol sales. It’s an abomination, I tell ya.
• Now, that Pastor Billy-Bob fella out there at First Righteous Church, he’s got it together. He really knows his stuff. If Pastor Billy-Bob ran for president, he’d have my vote. Granted, he has no political experience and he didn’t go to no fancy seminary, but gulldarnit, God called him and he answered.”