For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
-Psalm 139:13-14

“The clothes make the man.”
“If you look good, you feel good.”
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”
“We can Photoshop that out.”

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

The stark contrast between our culture and God’s design is amazing, isn’t it? We buy new clothes every season based on fashion trends. We dye our hair and invest untold millions in makeup and cosmetics. Some of us have even been caught Photoshopping acne off our children’s faces. We look in the mirror and we’re never happy. We’re either too fat or too thin, too young or too old, too light or too tan, too puny or too grotesque.

I don’t know many in this day and age who look in the mirror and say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made! God, your works are wonderful!” To do so, would seem vain or narcissistic.

Of course, if we’re giving God glory and even thanking Him for the awesome way He has fashioned us, we aren’t vain at all. The way we commonly live our lives is of far greater vanity.

We place our appearance in our own hands. We deny God’s role in uniquely designing each of us and take it upon ourselves to fashion ourselves in the image of what the rest of the society calls “attractive.”

We pour untold amounts of time, energy and money into our appearance just to make ourselves cheap imitations of true beauty.

Well, anyhow, that’s my two-cents on this passage. Now, if you’ll excuse me— I need to go drop off my dry-cleaning and get my hair styled.

Where could I go to escape from you? Where could I get away from your presence?
If I went up to heaven, you would be there; if I lay down in the world of the dead, you would be there.
If I flew away beyond the east or lived in the farthest place in the west, you would be there to lead me, you would be there to help me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me or the light around me to turn into night, but even darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to you.
-Psalm 139:7-12

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I try to run from God.

I love God’s church, and I know I’m supposed to love the people of God, but too frequently, I find myself running from both— and in doing so, I run from Him. I run from reading my Bible. My growing Internet addiction and desire to be entertained by the flickering of my TV screen are simply more appealing to me.

I also run from prayer. I have a hard enough time trusting people, let alone trusting a God I can’t see. Praying, in my view, is a dangerous sport. If I ask for patience, I might just be given a situation that will build patience. If I ask to have a closer relationship with God, I figure God might just eliminate some human relationships in a painful and unpleasant way to get me there—or I might find myself with a rather unsavory illness that will make my relationship with God all the more important.

Yet— despite all of my attempts to escape— there stands a carpenter from Nazareth. Whatever road I run down, regardless of which direction I turn, that old Galilean beckons me. “Where are you going?” He says. He puts His hand on my shoulder and leads me back, “Come with me, and learn my love. Learn to put your Trust in Me.”

Despite my worries and my lack of faith. In spite of my struggles with whether or not God is really good, without regard to any of my doubts, Christ finds me and brings me back. I have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, and that is a good thing, because the choices I make when I try to escape the grace of God are just bad for me. What I think is a good move or a wise choice—often causes me ten times more pain than if I stayed put and let God lead.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. –Psalm 139:6

“God works in mysterious ways.”

“His thoughts are not our thoughts.”

“God’s ways are not our ways.”

These oft-quoted (and absolutely Biblical) phrases tend to come to mind during a time of personal struggle or deep tragedy, but just as the verse quoted above, they speak to a far deeper truth.

Our mind is finite. It has boundaries. We have a mental capacity and a cap on the knowledge we can attain. God, on the other hand, is infinite. He is the creator of all knowledge and the origin of all wisdom.

We have been on a quest throughout our entire existence to try to figure out ourselves, our world, our universe and our God— and try as we may, regardless of the answers we come up with— our collective knowledge will always add up to a tiny blue dot on an infinite canvas we can neither fully see nor fully grasp.

God’s knowledge is so high above ours that it goes beyond all we can fathom—and yet, what does Psalm 139 tell us about the focus of this omniscient God’s thoughts? It tells us that He has searched our souls, that He knows when we sit and when we stand, that He knows what we’re going to say before we say it, He knows what we do and He knows where we are.

This amazing God with all this infinite knowledge chooses to make the business of the creatures on this tiny blue dot in an alarmingly large universe His business.

Not only is the knowledge of God too wonderful and high for us to attain, His knowledge of every one of us is much loftier than we could ever grasp.

I know I cannot comprehend the knowledge of God. I know how finite I am. But if the knowledge of God is something I will never be able to wrap my mind around, the love of God is even more puzzling. I cannot understand why a God so great and mighty and above all things would bother with a poor, helpless sinner like me. It reminds me of the lyrics from an increasingly popular song titled “My Savior, My God” by Aaron Shust:

“That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful man to die,
You count it strange,
So once did I,
Before I knew my Savior.”

“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” –Psalm 139:5

I have control issues.

A number I don’t recognize called my cell phone twice today. When I called back, it was a jewelry store employee who promptly hung up on me when I asked who from a jewelry store could possibly have business with me.

I spent the next half hour doing a reverse lookup on this unlisted number in a vain attempt to figure out where the call came from and why.

I don’t do well with situations where I’m not in control and unfortunately, I don’t get to control much in life. I don’t know how atheists do it. I’d be in a loony bin within a matter of weeks if I believed the entire universe was just a random mess with no order to it.

For neurotic control freaks like me, the above verse is quite soothing. On days when all I see is chaos, God reminds me that He is in control and that His presence is everywhere. Not only that, but His hand is upon me.

That’s comforting. The hands that created the universe also hold me. The hand that is responsible for both calamity and blessing also keeps me within Its strong grip. The hands that shaped mountains and planets like clay also shape my path. The hand that holds the keys to the Kingdom and molds the course of history also guides me in times of indecision and trouble.

I can’t always be in control—but I am always held.

“Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely.” –Psalm 139:4

Perhaps this clever tactic would keep Uncle Luther from saying whatever pops into his mind.

This will come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog, but if there’s one aspect of my personality that’s likely to get me in trouble, it’s my sarcasm. I love a good wisecrack, and given the chance to be serious or go for the quick joke, I’ll choose the joke 80 percent of the time.

When I read this verse, I often think; “Lord, if you know what I’m going to say before I say it, why don’t you stop me? If you did, I’d get into less trouble and I’d probably have more friends.”

I have a hard time putting the brakes on from the time a thought enters my mind until it leaves my mouth. When I was a child, a large majority of the spankings I received were related to my being a smart-aleck. Consequently, as an adult, I tend to stay quiet in social settings. Oh, I have quite a few funny thoughts and observations, but I hesitate to verbalize them for fear of being ostracized.

God knows every word before I utter it. He even knows the words I choose not to speak. He knows my thoughts. How embarrassing! He knows my thoughts about others. He knows my thoughts about myself. He knows my thoughts about Him. God, forgive me. If my words are filthy, sardonic, cruel and offensive, how much more are my thoughts? My Lord, do you have to look? Can you close your eyes?

At the same time, there is comfort in this verse. When I speak and offend a friend, or even a stranger, or my not-so-gentle readers, it is usually because my words were taken the wrong way. God is the only one who truly knows the intent of what I say.

Despite my tough exterior and my “I don’t give a rip” attitude, at heart I would never want to cause harm to anyone. I would never knowingly say anything to intentionally hurt someone. I’ve had to explain that to more than a few friends over the years. It is comforting to know that there is Someone who knows the intent of my words completely.

photo credit: perfect day dream

“You notice everything I do and everywhere I go.” –Psalm 139:3

I’m a private person. I’d venture to say I am more private than most. I think it comes from being an only child. Growing up, I always had my own room, my own stuff and my own time. I’m so private, I won’t even let my wife in the bathroom when I’m “covering my feet,” as the Old Testament so delicately puts it.

Of course, a locked door and a request for privacy may deter my wife, but it doesn’t stop God. According to this verse, God takes notice of everywhere I go and everything I do once I get there.

I guess that has its benefits. I had a friend who once told me that when he goes to the grocery store, realizing God is there with him, he asks “Lord, what would you have me eat this week?” I’m a little afraid of that question, because I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t appreciate my caffeine addiction or my fly-like love of sugar.

But, it is an interesting thought. God is not just the God of the great, but of the small as well. He goes with me to the grocery store, and He watches as I go about my morning routine. He is aware of the OCD issue I have when it comes to setting my alarm clock at night.

God notices all of my quirks.

A lot of people would take this verse and talk about purity of thought. Most Christians would probably take this verse and remind you to be on your best behavior because the eyes of Texas are always upon you.

That’s been done. What interests me about this verse is that my quirks and inconsistencies are known by my creator. He takes time to notice that I eat each item of food on my plate completely before moving on to the next. He is aware that I misplaced my stereo remote three days ago and have been going quite mad ever since.

He knows which DVDs I’m going to dust off and watch when I’m sick. (They’re the same every time.)

He sees my quirks, and has a good chuckle because He knows that particular set of oddities belongs only to me and no one else.

“You discern my thoughts from afar.” –Psalm 139:2

This line is both comforting and frightening. It is comforting in the sense that knowing God listens to my thoughts gives me a feeling of connectedness with my Creator. It brings a tremendous amount of solace to know God understands me so well and so deeply as to know my very thoughts.

But it is disturbing and terrifying at the same time. I know my thoughts. I know how carnal they are, how frivolous and blasphemous they are. If I could peel back the curtain and let others see my thoughts, you would see how vain, self-centered, manipulative, paranoid and depraved my thoughts are. If I were to truly speak what was on my mind, I wouldn’t have a friend in this world.

My thoughts are the one place I don’t want to let God in. I don’t want Him to know my worst sentiments or to let Him hear the idle thoughts that come out of nowhere and that I don’t even think I can control. My mind can be a scary place, even for me— and I don’t like to think my Father in Heaven would want to even take a peek in there— but he does. Over and over again.

He sees my thoughts clearly and chooses to do so. Even more unfathomable is that He chooses to love me, even after knowing what goes on in my mind. That is an indescribably powerful love. Think about your darkest most carnal most evil thoughts… if your spouse or closest friend were aware of those, would they still be able to love you?

This is the true measure of God’s unconditional love! His thoughts are not our thoughts, but He loves us despite even our most vulgar thoughts.

“You know when I sit and when I rise.” –Psalm 139:2

You may not care when Uncle Luther sits or rises, but God does.

Of course, if one believes in an all-knowing God, one would have to conclude He is aware of all we do. But don’t brush over the power of this verse. Don’t look at it just as Scriptural evidence of God’s omniscience. Look at the minutia. God knows when I sit and when I rise.

That He knows this may be obvious, but the fact that He cares is amazing. How many people do you care that much about? When you’re at work, do you care if your spouse is sitting or standing? I love my wife more than I could ever describe in this blog, but I’ve never sat at work and thought, “I wonder if she’s sitting down right now.”

Social networking allows us to keep track of such small details, but even though someone on Twitter may inform me they are sitting down (in 140 characters or less, of course,) I’m not going to care. I might think “Thanks for sharing. That’s nice.” Then I would go on about my day and forget. It’s such a minor detail.

And yet, God is aware of when we sit and when we stand. The God who is described as all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-present, actually bothers with such minor details of my life.

I don’t know what to do with that kind of love. I’m certainly not capable of loving that way.

It’s easy to think that God is with us during our great triumphs and that He is available to rescue us in our deep despair, but it isn’t easy to see God in the small stuff. Does God really know when I cut my toenails? Is He with me when I’m driving to work? When I walk to the mailbox every day, is He watching me then?

He is so great and my life is so dull. Why would He take such an interest in my sitting and rising, my coming and going? Why does God make my business His business?

photo credit: lipstickproject

“Oh Lord, You have searched me— and you know me.” –Psalm 139:1

Maybe this is what it looks like when God searches someone?

This is just one sentence and very few words, yet the implications of this one sentence are huge. What this sentence says about God is astounding. This psalm begins by telling us that the nature of our God is not passive. He does not sit on the sidelines and watch the story unfold. He doesn’t create with His hands and then let go to see what happens. He is active in His zeal for His people and is intimately acquainted with those whom He has created.

Out of the entire universe, God has searched me. The maker of all that is and ever was is not just aware of me. He isn’t just aware that humans exist. He has looked down from wherever He resides and found me. He didn’t just glance either. He didn’t do a cursory inspection. He thoroughly examined every part of my life.

It says in this passage that God has searched us so completely that He knows us, and the next few verses will tell us just how deeply.

This is a God who knows His people even better than they know themselves.

I cannot begin to tell you how comforting that is. I don’t know about you, but I struggle to truly know myself. Half of the time, I can’t even tell you why I’m feeling the way I am. I question my motives, I don’t understand my desires. I don’t know why the thoughts that come to my head show up there or where they came from. I wonder, as the Apostle Paul did, why I do the things I don’t want to do.

There is an ocean in my soul separating who I am from who I want to be, and I’m sure there’s an even bigger chasm between who I think I am and who I truly am. But God knows not only who I am in reality, not only who I think I am, and not just who I want to be. He knows all of those more intimately than I do, but He also knows who He created me to be.

He doesn’t question my motives because He knows them completely. He doesn’t have to ask why I do things I don’t want to do, because He knows that. He’s the only being in all of creation that truly “gets” me. Sometimes when I can’t put my feelings into words, it helps to know that my Father in Heaven knows and understands those feelings.

It begs the question, why would God have any desire to search someone so completely, and the only conclusion I can come to I don’t understand. The only reason someone would search the depths of another’s soul and would want to know everything about them is because they love them.

The Creator of the universe loves me that much… and when I think that, I crumble. I can’t take the gravity of such a thought. I don’t see anything in me that is worthy even of the love of another human being, let alone my maker. I have dark places and if God knows me completely, He knows where each of those places are. And somehow, in spite of shining a huge light into that darkness, He still loves me? I can’t grasp that kind of love.

photo credit: jpstanley

Not to sound clichéd but the next few blogs are more for me than for anyone who may be reading. I want to spend some time looking closely at Psalm 139, which—more than any other passage I can think of—describes how deeply God loves His people.

We live in a society of unfaithful marriages, throw-away relationships and shallow friendships. I don’t know about you, but it seems like every time I turn around I’m losing a friend, meeting an enemy or struggling to know who I can trust.

This song written by King David thousands of years ago tells of the love of a God who doesn’t change. The one being in all the universe who knows me completely… The only One who knows my motives, will not second guess me and will never have an inaccurate perception of me.

This is the song of a God who knows me better than I know myself and who sees my strengths and weaknesses—and doesn’t run or turn away. He is the only One capable of loving me unconditionally. So, for the next few posts, I invite you to meditate with me on this old Psalm. Some might call it over-used, but I know I can’t hear of God’s love enough.

To start, I’ll post the Psalm in its entirety. In the posts that follow, we will look at each passage together and reflect on this unshakeable and undeserved love the Father has for us.

Oh Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, Oh Lord.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, Oh God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, Oh God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, Oh Lord,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.