5 Cheesy Christian Movies

Uncle Luther — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:12:00 +0000

Here are the rules: The movies listed below are produced by Christian filmmakers and studios. They are listed in no particular order and the selection of the five movies were limited by movies I have personally seen. They are also the five that popped immediately into my head. This does list does not seek to deny or change the fact that at least 95 percent of all Christian movies are cheesy. These however, are worthy of mention.

THE JUDAS PROJECT: This movie isn’t actually that bad. It is little-known though and suffers from horrible special effects, long musical interludes and poor acting. It is the gospel told in a modern (early 80’s) setting, with a man named Joshua as Jesus. Despite all the negatives, it has two strong points. The first is that the Jesus character is one of the most likable I’ve seen. The movie does a good job of showing what Jesus would have been like to the people of his time by giving a contemporary equivalent. The second positive, is the totally cool Grey’s Anatomy-esque crucifixion scene. The camera doesn’t cut away and the screams are horrific.
LEFT BEHIND: This is almost too easy to pick on, because it wandered unrecognizably far from the book. I don’t remember the special effects for this one being as bad as they could have been, but the strangest part was the lack of special effects for the rapture scene, which was a rather big part of a movie called “Left Behind.” It also suffers from a common ailment among Christian movies, called “Hey! We’ve Got Kirk Cameron Syndrome.” If you’re a Christian filmmaker and you get Kirk Cameron, nothing else matters. Forget about music, special effects, camera work and even plot.
LEFT BEHIND II TRIBULATION FORCE: Same as above, only the “Hey! We’ve Got Kirk Cameron Syndrome” has gotten worse. In this one, they actually go a little further with the special effects, which results in some over-the-top attempts at making the Antichrist look like something out of a horror film. If you thought Christian filmmakers should stay away from special effects altogether, you’ll agree that the last thing they should do is attempt to pull off horror effects.
THE CHAMPION: Carman should have left boxing well enough alone after his song, also titled “The Champion.” If Christian filmmakers should stay away from special effects, Christian musicians should stay away from Christian films, especially those Christian musicians who don’t actually sing. I don’t remember the plot of this one. All I remember is there was boxing, a wedding and it was bad.
THE RIOT MOVIE: Not to pick on everyone’s favorite non-singing songwriter too much, but this novel idea fell flat on its face before it even went out the door. Carman had the “unique” idea of packaging the music videos for his popular RIOT album inside a 2 part movie. This allowed him to a.) test the waters for a feature film, b.) star in his own movie and c.) make $40 off of his music videos instead of $20. The latter one seems to have been the most important aspect here. Aside from these issues, the dialogue is forced, the acting is worse than most infomercials and the music videos between each scene break whatever momentum the film may have had going for it.

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5 Cheesy Christian Movies