I joined a Facebook group today. I don’t know why I did it– I think they’re dumb, but on occasion one will catch my eye. This one was named “Being A Christian Does Not Mean You Have To Be Cheesy.” Great title. It basically mocks the subculture Christians have created for themselves. We have our own t- shirts, music, bumper stickers, products, etc., and a lot of times if you’re not into all of these fine products, other Christians will kind of look down on you for it. It’s a good thing to point out, but that isn’t what caught my eye.
They’ve posted pictures of various “Christian” products. I’m not going to go through all of them (if you’re interested you can join the group,) but I will throw my opinion in on some of them, because they’re so off-the-wall they should be shared. Let’s start with the T-shirts.
“God Wants You To be Saved!”
So… First, we have another fine example of snatching someone else’s logo so we can make God look cool. I’m really not sure he needs our help on that. He’s done more awesome things in the universe than YouTube. Maybe he appreciates the help… I don’t know.
For those who have been trapped in a Christian bubble for so long they’ve started to prune, let me run down what someone who isn’t a Christian might think when they see this.
1.) Christians are un- original. They have to copy someone else’s logo.
2.) Christians are only interested in getting people “saved.” They don’t care about me as a person.
3.) Saved from what? Is a flood coming? Global warming?
4.) The person wearing this shirt thinks YouTube is evil. The shirt implies that they think people who watch YouTube are going to hell.
5.) If someone wearing this shirt approaches me, I need to run because all they want to do is try to save me and stop me from watching videos on one of my favorite websites.
My advice: If you want to instantly stop bearing any fruit and see to it that only Christians talk to you, wear this shirt.
“Jesus- Life’s Problems: One Solution- It’s Just That Easy”
Can I have whoever designed this T-shirt’s life? Clearly they haven’t been living in the real world. Maybe if we swapped lives, I could sleep better at night. To someone who isn’t a Christian, this shirt is about as convincing as saying, “Because the Bible says so.”
Let’s stop playing childish games. Jesus is not a magic pill you can take to make all of your problems go away. He’s a savior not a sedative. Do you want to know what Jesus really is? He is a real person who really lived. He is a real God who came to earth as a man because life was so hard and so bad that we couldn’t take care of our problems by ourselves. It required God leaving his throne and coming to clean our mess with his own blood. If the world’s problems are so big they can only be solved by God himself shedding blood, we can expect that nothing will be easy.
In fact, Jesus says that in this world we will have trouble. He will give us peace, and hear our prayers and give us strength, but life is not easy. There is no magic Bible verse you can turn to that will fix all of your problems. If you need a sedative take a sedative, but don’t cheapen the message of Christ by trying to make him some sort of magic pill.
“Jesus is My Car Insurance”
You stupid, stupid moron. Get off the road before you kill somebody. When you rear-end someone because you had both hands in the air listening to praise music with your eyes closed, try explaining to the driver whose neck you just broke that Jesus will be providing the funding for their car and their medical expenses.
You will find yourself in debt and in prison, which is probably going to be quite a shock, but a necessary learning experience for you. What is the point of this anyway? Are you saying that Jesus is going to comphensate for your poor driving skills? Has he now become an excuse for not learning how to drive? It really isn’t cute or funny. This has to be lamest Christian product I’ve ever seen.
“Jesus Hates It When You Smoke!”
The next time you’re ready to have a Holy Smoke, this ashtray is for you. Where do I begin? Okay, first of all, if Jesus could forgive an adulteress and the people who nailed him to a cross, I’m pretty sure he’s not fuming with rage over someone’s decision to light up.
The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about what Jesus thinks of smoking, but I can tell you some of the things he hates. He hates it when his people turn his father’s house into a den of theives. He hates it when people are judgmental and when they go around the world to win a convert but won’t help their neighbor who is struggling.
The point of this product is obviously to produce guilt in any of your friends who smoke. If a person smokes they have an addiction. Addictions are serious and people really struggle with them for years. Instead of judging your friend who is addicted to something, how about loving them and encouraging them? Isn’t that what Jesus would really have you do? The truth about Jesus and smoking is this: Jesus loves you if you smoke. Jesus loves you if you drink. Jesus loves you if you commit adultery. Jesus loves you if you’re gay. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.