My heart, when wronged, craves revenge.
Desiring retribution for real and perceived wrongs is natural and human. It is also easier than forgiveness.
Not only is it easy but – quite honestly – revenge is fun. I thoroughly enjoy the execution and reward of a well-thought scheme, particularly when the victim knows only that he has been victimized but has no clue how, why, or by whom. Chances are, you do too. Witness the popularity of “The Godfather” in the 70′s, “Dallas” in the 80′s, and “The Sopranos” in the present. The human heart craves justice, but satisfying that craving often comes at a high cost.
While it may feel good if the plan works, it’s a lot of scheming, and stress to make sure one’s revenge doesn’t backfire. It’s also quite a bit of work manipulating people and events just to get the satisfaction of seeing someone else get what’s coming to him.
Much better and more effective is to attempt, to the best of our human abilities, to practice unconditional love.
Jesus taught a revolutionary concept of loving your enemies and blessing those who curse you. In word, it sounds wonderful and right and good. In practice it is hard, and it is soul-crushing. How can we show love to someone who hates us and does wrong to us? How can we not take personally something that is intended to be taken personally?
I had an experience like that this week when a co-worker who was unhappy with a decision I made decided to give me the cold shoulder for several days. I made the decision early on not to follow my heart’s natural craving to fight back and repay one wrong with another.
Instead, I decided that regardless of my co-worker’s feelings for me, I would still be kind and friendly. I resolved not to return the cold shoulder, but to instead respond with warmth and compassion. It about killed me, but by the end of the week, it completely diffused the hostility.
If I had sought retribution, it’s likely an interoffice war would have started, and the last thing I need in this economy and with all that’s going on in my personal life is another enemy and another war.
Actually following Christ’s teaching instead of my natural desire was the right move and the reward was much greater than the enjoyment of payback.