“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” –Psalm 139:5
I have control issues.
A number I don’t recognize called my cell phone twice today. When I called back, it was a jewelry store employee who promptly hung up on me when I asked who from a jewelry store could possibly have business with me.
I spent the next half hour doing a reverse lookup on this unlisted number in a vain attempt to figure out where the call came from and why.
I don’t do well with situations where I’m not in control and unfortunately, I don’t get to control much in life. I don’t know how atheists do it. I’d be in a loony bin within a matter of weeks if I believed the entire universe was just a random mess with no order to it.
For neurotic control freaks like me, the above verse is quite soothing. On days when all I see is chaos, God reminds me that He is in control and that His presence is everywhere. Not only that, but His hand is upon me.
That’s comforting. The hands that created the universe also hold me. The hand that is responsible for both calamity and blessing also keeps me within Its strong grip. The hands that shaped mountains and planets like clay also shape my path. The hand that holds the keys to the Kingdom and molds the course of history also guides me in times of indecision and trouble.
I can’t always be in control—but I am always held.
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“Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely.” –Psalm 139:4
Perhaps this clever tactic would keep Uncle Luther from saying whatever pops into his mind.
This will come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog, but if there’s one aspect of my personality that’s likely to get me in trouble, it’s my sarcasm. I love a good wisecrack, and given the chance to be serious or go for the quick joke, I’ll choose the joke 80 percent of the time.
When I read this verse, I often think; “Lord, if you know what I’m going to say before I say it, why don’t you stop me? If you did, I’d get into less trouble and I’d probably have more friends.”
I have a hard time putting the brakes on from the time a thought enters my mind until it leaves my mouth. When I was a child, a large majority of the spankings I received were related to my being a smart-aleck. Consequently, as an adult, I tend to stay quiet in social settings. Oh, I have quite a few funny thoughts and observations, but I hesitate to verbalize them for fear of being ostracized.
God knows every word before I utter it. He even knows the words I choose not to speak. He knows my thoughts. How embarrassing! He knows my thoughts about others. He knows my thoughts about myself. He knows my thoughts about Him. God, forgive me. If my words are filthy, sardonic, cruel and offensive, how much more are my thoughts? My Lord, do you have to look? Can you close your eyes?
At the same time, there is comfort in this verse. When I speak and offend a friend, or even a stranger, or my not-so-gentle readers, it is usually because my words were taken the wrong way. God is the only one who truly knows the intent of what I say.
Despite my tough exterior and my “I don’t give a rip” attitude, at heart I would never want to cause harm to anyone. I would never knowingly say anything to intentionally hurt someone. I’ve had to explain that to more than a few friends over the years. It is comforting to know that there is Someone who knows the intent of my words completely.
photo credit: perfect day dream
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